Brightest star
by jacefourpeeta
Summary: Jace has been taught 'to love is to destroy', telling himself he will never let himself fall in love, but then there's Clary. Will love destroy him or destroy her? Cancer story.
1. study buddy

_**Hey this is my new story. It's going to be really sad, so if you don't like sad stories then this story isn't for you. Also if you don't like stories with cancer in then this story isn't for you. I hope you enjoy it though and see the reasons why I decided to write it:) enjoy the first chapter and please tell me what you think. **_

_**The story starts of with clace getting to know each other.**_

_**I'm look for a beta by the way so if anyone is interested please let me know. I need a beta for this story and my others.**_

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**Chapter 1: Study buddy**

Clary opened her locker, getting out her English and sketch book ready for her next lessons. Her eyes scanned the crowd of students looking for Simon, her best friend. He waved to her across the hall with Eric and Kirk by his side, nudging Simon about something.

"How was music?" She asked him as she shut her locker.

He replied,"Great, and French?" He walked next to Clary, forgetting about Eric and Kirk as they walked towards English.

"Grand." Clary replied in French and Simon smiled at her.

When they got to English, they sat in their usually seats in front of Jace and Alec Lightwood, who usually just ignored the two (unless they needed to copy their homework). Mr Smith was running late again, like usual, and the class were talking among themselves.

"Pst. Clary." Someone was poking her in the back and she turned to see Jace grinning at her.

"What?" She asked hopping he couldn't see her blushing. Jace was like a lion with his golden hair and golden eyes; to Clary, he was the most beautiful human being she had ever seen. Every detail about him made her want to draw, but every time she tried she just couldn't get him right.

"Can I borrow a pen?" He smiled showing his chipped tooth, he was still perfect to her.

She sighed, "Can't Alec spare you one?"

"No, he only has the one. Come on, girls would come running at me with pens if I asked them." His eyes flickered across the classroom.

"So ask them then." Clary turned back to face the front.

Jace poked her back again and she turned to glare at him. "Please? I know you have a spare pen."

"How can you possibly know?" It was true Clary had a load of spare pens, just when she handed them out she never got them back.

"You're an artist." He observed. "Artists always have pencil cases."

Simon choked on his laughter and turned to face Jace, "Why are you so keen on getting a pen from Clary?"

"No one asked you, Lewis." Jace didn't even look at Simon he was watching Clary, waiting for her to give him a pen. All this over a stupid pen, she thought to herself.

"This is such a boring conversation, Jace." Alec moaned to his brother. Clary knew the Lightwood's adopted Jace into the family.

"Well if Clary just gave me a pen instead of being distracted by my good looks, then we wouldn't be having this boring conversation." Jace told Alec and Clary blushed looking away from Jace.

Clary threw her pen at him, hitting him in the face. "There have it, but is it so hard to bring your own? Or do you really seek the attention of girl's by not having a pen?"

Alec snorted as Clary turned back round, just in time for Mr Smith to come in. Simon was smiling next to her, but Clary was oblivious to Jace smiling at the back of her head.

They were looking at Romeo and Juliet today, one of Clary's favourites, discussing the plot and the family feuds. Clary took notes during the lesson. End of year exams were coming up, and she needed all the notes she could get to revise.

"Why did you all enjoy Romeo and Juliet?" Mr Smith was asking the class, of course everyone acted like they hated it. Some girls answered with the love story, which was expected. In Clary's opinion (she wasn't going to say this) she enjoyed Romeo and Juliet because of the tragedy. She found tragedy stories the most interesting, having you hooked with the sadness and the heartbreak. A book that makes you cry is a book that makes you remember it.

Mr Smith move on, "Now, you all understand end of year exams are coming up in a few weeks?" The class all groaned. "Such positive attitude. Anyway, I have put you all with a study buddy."

Clary always got paired up with Simon, teachers knew they were like Siamese twins, always together never being separated.

Mr Smith started calling out names, "Hannah and Eric. Lewis and Jamie. Simon and Alec..."

Clary's heart sank. Behind them Jace was patting Alec on the back, telling him that revising with Simon would be as horrible as he imagined it.

"Clary," Mr Smith said her name and she looked up, "and Jace."

She felt her body tense and she bit her lip tasting blood. Was Mr Smith trying to punish her? She did all her homework, listened in lessons and revised at home, _alone. _

Jace poked Clary in the back. "First wanting my attention over a pen and now you have me revising with you. Defiantly a good day for you." Clary turned to face him, ignoring his words. She could see amusement in his eyes, and something else. He said, "Don't look so pissed, you got everything you wished for."

The bell went and Clary packed her bag, ignoring Jace.

Simon said, "I'll walk you to art."

"Thanks." She smiled picking up her books and followed him out of the class room. Her mind was spinning: was she really going to be forced to study with Jace? She didn't mind the idea, but he was _Jace._

"Clary!" A voice called behind her and she turned to see Jace walking towards her.

Clary sighed, "What now?"

"When do you want to do this?" Clary searched his face he didn't seem to be happy to be paired with her. Of course he wouldn't be, he was _Jace. _

Clary shuffled her books over to her left side. She couldn't believe she was about to do this, "Give me your hand."

He looked shocked. "What? Why?"

"So I can give you my number." She snapped at him and he gave her his hand. Clary wasn't sure if this was a bad idea or not, but she writ her number on his hand. "Text me when your ready."

When school was over Clary and Simon walked home, stopping at Java Jones to pick up a coffee. They hadn't spoken much about not being partnered, but what could they do about it? Maybe the four of them could study together, and just she and Simon actually study.

"I'll call you later, Fray." Simon said starting to walk in the direction towards his home. He always walked her home.

She replied, "Sure."

Simon disappeared and Clary entered the bookstore. "Hey." She smiled at Luke, her step-father.

"Hey, how was school?" Luke asked pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Great." She replied. "Is mom upstairs?"

Luke shook his head, "No, she's selling another painting."

Clary got her art skills from her mom, and hopped one day to be able to paint like her. "Okay. Do you need any help?"

"No. Go on up." Clary smiled before disappearing from the back to where their apartment was. It was small with just a living room, kitchen, bathroom and two bedrooms. Clary had painted her room orange with her mom, and bits of paper were stuck everywhere. Photos of her, Luke and mom, photos of her and Simon, then paintings and drawings she had done. Her bed was in the middle, with her wardrobe on her right and her desk on the left. In the far corner she had a bookshelf and a chest of draws. It was small, but perfect.

She dropped her bag onto her bed and pulled out her phone. An unknown number had texted her and she opened the message to see what it said.

**I'm starting to think you used the revising to just give me your number. Am I right, Fray? **Clary knew it was Jace, she smiled surprising herself. Simon was the only one whoever called her Fray, she wanted Jace to call her by her name.

She texted back, **don't flatter yourself. **

Clary put her hair up and sat at her desk looking out her small window, wanting to draw what she saw. It wasn't much, only more shops with apartments on top and then the city rising behind it. She had drawn this view so many times, but every time she tried it different with new materials and ways of doing it. Today she just wanted to sketch.

Her phone buzzed surprising herself. It was Jace again. She would have thought he would have gotten bored by now, bored before they even met.

**Haha, can I come over? **Clary's eyes widened and her mouth hit the ground. Jace come over here, where she _lived? _

**Why? **She texted back biting her lip. Would her mom even let Jace come over? Would Luke?

**To revise what else? **Clary let out at breath she didn't know she was holding. He actually wanted to revise? Should she let him come round? To see if he would take revising seriously or is he just trying to take advantage of her? She knew Jace gets around a lot; he was known at school for it. But could he be different?

**Fine, better just be revision. Do you know where I live? **Clary took down her hair now, picking up her brush and running it through her red curls.

**Yes. **Clary didn't remember telling him where she lived. They never even had a conversation about their homes, all their conversations were about homework or him asking for a pen. How did he know?

Clary changed into a pair of skinny jeans and a blue jumper. She was debating whether it was a good idea or not to let Jace into her home. He was the popular guy and she was just the not-so-popular girl with only one friend.

She went across to the bookstore, "Luke, Jace is coming over to study. Is that alright?"

Luke knocked over his pot of pens on his bench, "Jace?"

"Lightwood." Clary answered and watched as he picked up his pens.

"It's just revising and not a–a date?" Luke asked and Clary blushed at the idea of a date with Jace.

"No! I just got paired with him instead of Simon." Clary explained, if it was Simon coming round then she wouldn't even have to ask her parents. He was apart of the family, and they trusted him.

Luke let out a heavy sigh, "Alright, I'm closing up."

"Okay." She went to turn to go back, but Luke called her name.

He said, "Just leave your door open, alright?"

Clary blushed, but nodded her head.

Clary was watching tv as she waited for Jace. It had been eleven minutes of waiting, and she was getting even more nervous by the minute. She kept thinking that Jace would change his mind, see sense and go find some over girl, who was prettier than her. If only she looked like his adoptive sister. Where Jace was all golden, Isabelle was all dark. Her straight raven hair falling down her back, then her dark eyes and tall figure with real curves.

The door went, but Luke got up beating Clary to the door. She hissed his name. Luke smiled at her and then opened the door. Jace was stood on the over end, wearing the same clothes as he was at school. Jeans and a polo top that hugged his body nicely. He even had English books in his hand, which shocked Clary more than the sight of seeing him.

"You must be Jace. I'm Clary's father, Luke Garroway." Luke held out his hand and Jace shook it with a polite smile on his face.

"Great to meet you." Jace let go of Luke's hand and looked up to Clary, who was standing in the doorway blushing. He smiled at her as Luke invited him in.

"I have dinner on, you like pasta?" Luke asked Jace raising his eyebrows. Clary never agreed to Jace staying for dinner. Revising was enough, but dinner was like way out of the zone for Clary.

"Yeah." Jace didn't show any emotion, he was smiling, but was he happy to be here?

Luke smiled, "Alright, well you two go get studying then. Clary remember what I told you." Clary's eyes widened and she blushed before turning to walk away. Jace's footsteps let her know that he was following her.

"Why so keen to study?" She asked entering her room, leaving the door open after Jace came in.

"I want good grades." His eyes studied her room taking in all the pictures, drawings and paintings. "You're a good artist."

He actually complemented her. "Thank you?" It sounded more like a question.

Jace laughed, "You seem shocked. Is my presence too much for you?"

"No, it's just–" She bit her lip.

"Just what?" He sat on her bed looking up at her.

Clary sat on her desk chair, avoiding being close to him. "You've never complemented me before."

"What's so shocking about that?" He seemed confused, finally an emotion shown.

"It doesn't matter. Did you come to play 20 question or revise?" Clary picked up her English book from her desk.

"20 questions sounds more fun." Clary smiled slightly and then started a conversation about a tale of two cities. She was surprised to see Jace taking the revision seriously. Now and then she would look up to see him watching her, making her blush. Most of the time he actually seemed interested in some of the books and they ended up having conversations about their favourite books.

"You don't look anything like your father." Jace pointed out he was watching her again.

Clary replied blushing, "He's my step-father."

"Oh right, does your mom have red hair by any chance?" He picked up a red curl wrapping it around his finger like it fascinated him. Clary had moved from her desk chair to the floor with Jace at some point during their revision. She was watching him carefully, blushing as he put the strand of hair behind her ear.

"Yes, and green eyes." She whispered without knowing why.

"Green eyes and red hair are my favourite combination." He bit his lip regretting he said that. "Can we actually play 20 questions?"

"Why?" Clary asked, forgetting she heard the first part.

Jace replied, "Why not?"

She rolled her eyes, "Fine, but this isn't revising."

"We've done loads of revising." Jace shut his English book. "What's your favourite movie?"

Clary thought about it. "Annie. Me and my mom use to watch it a lot, and she used to call me her Annie because I had red curlier hair when I was little."

Jace smirked amused. "I've never seen it."

"How have you not seen it?" Clary was shocked, it seemed like a movie everyone had to watch at least once in their life.

Jace held up his hands. "Sorry, were watch it this weekend round mine."

Clary's eyes widened in shock, she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly. "Round yours?"

"Yes, now next question: favourite colour?" He was smiling.

Clary spoke before she could stop herself, "Gold."

She blushed as Jace replied, "Interesting. Tell me a childhood memory?"

Clary thought for a minute, "I was about six, and was up at the farm with Simon and my parents. Me and Simon were climbing a wall, but I got stuck at the top and was too scared to get down. Simon told me, 'Just let go, I'll catch you.' I trusted in his words, trusted in him and let go, he caught me. It was then I got over my fear of heights."

"A wall was too high for you?" Jace asked raising an eyebrow at Clary. How comes everyone could do that but her? Clary wondered to herself.

"I was small and it was a very tall wall." Clary defended herself. "I was afraid of falling, but I trusted Simon to let go."

Before Jace could say anything Luke called for them. Surprisingly Jace helped Clary up, his warm hand sending shivers through her body. His touch making her blush and want to touch him more. Clary bit her lip before leaving the room, assuming Jace would follow her.

"Hey mom." Clary hugged her mom as she entered the kitchen. "I didn't know you was back."

Jocelyn smiled, "Well I didn't want to disturb your revision. You must be Jace, I'm Jocelyn."

Jace shook Jocelyn's hand, "It's nice to meet you."

They sat down at the table, Jace sitting opposite Clary and her parents sitting at the end of the table. Luke had made pasta and meatballs, usually they had take out, but Clary assumed he wanted to impress Jace. They spoke about school and the summer, Clary enjoying having Jace round for dinner with her parents. She could see they wanted to get to know Jace better, but was thankful they wasn't embarrassing her like other parents would.

"I better get going." Jace said once everyone finished eating. Clary secretly didn't want him to go.

"It was great having you round." Luke shook Jace's hand again.

Jocelyn smiled, "Come back anytime."

"I will." Jace replied and Clary gave him a questioning look.

Clary stood up seeing Jace to the door once he collected his books, their time together had gone fast and she was surprised that she enjoyed it.

He turned to look back at her, "I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Sure." She smiled, excited to see him again.

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_**That was the first chapter, I hoped you all like it. The next chapter will have more characters in. For the next few chapters it will be Jace and Clary getting to know each other. Please do tell me what you think about the chapter and I am looking for a beta for my stories. Let me know if your interested.**_


	2. Reality

**a/n: Hey I hopped you liked the first chapter. Someone said that 'grand' was French for tall. Yes, I realised that after but when I looked up 'French word for great' it came up with 'grand'. Here is the next one, I hope you enjoy it and tell me what you think:). All the credit goes to Cassie.**

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**Chapter 2: Reality**

When a boy comes around to 'revise', but shows an interest in you, demanding to play 20 questions and find out who you are, you expect him to like you. It's only when you go to school the next day and reality sets in, that it hits you that it was either a dream or he isn't interested. It's simply too good to be true.

He was standing across the hallway, talking to Isabelle and Alec. When Clary first walked into school his eyes travelled across to her, before going back to Alec. He wasn't interested, and Clary felt like an idiot.

"What's wrong?" Simon asked, closing his locker.

Clary slammed her locker shut. "Nothing. I'll see you in gym."

Before Simon could say anything, Clary walked away. The worst part was that her lesson was down the hallway that Jace was standing at. His eyes darted to her once, filling Clary with hope, but then he looked away again. Clary sighed in frustration. Why were boys such jerks?

Clary sat down next to Maia in Algebra class. They didn't talk much, but they had that kind of silent friendship thing going on. Jace was in this class as well, sitting behind Clary. When he walked past, Clary glared at the table, refusing to look at him. If he was really interested, like he had been last night, then he'd make the effort to talk to her.

"What's got you in a mood?" asked Maia, turning to face Clary.

"Boys," Clary replied back. "They're complete asshats." She began doodling in her notebook; it always helped her calm down.

Jace laughed from behind. "Asshats? That's perfect."

Clary turned to glare at him, but he only smirked.

"What has Lewis done to annoy you, then?" he continued.

"Simon?" Clary questioned. "Who said Simon was annoying me?" Clary didn't want to talk to Jace; if he only wanted to talk to her and bother with her whenever he wanted to, then she wasn't interested.

"Well, Simon's the only boy you talk to…" Jace shrugged like it was no big deal.

Clary raised an eyebrow. "Apparently so."

Jace looked confused with what she meant, not caring when Clary turned around to get on with the lesson. That lesson dragged; she was constantly paranoid that Jace was staring at the back of her head. A part of her wanted to turn and hold his eye contact, but another part wanted to forget about him completely.

What did she expect from him, anyway? A loving, caring boyfriend that put her needs before sex? No, of course not. This was Jace and he didn't have relationships; he just slept with girls. Clary didn't understand why she felt that this time, he would be different. That this time, he would show an emotion or interest towards a girl and not just lust.

The bell went and Clary packed her belongings away. Gym was next, and thankfully she didn't have it with Jace. She walked with Maia to Gym, listening to how Maia went on about Simon's band, Mojo Pie. Maia had a crush on Simon, and no matter how many times Clary told him to go out with her, he wouldn't. Apparently, he was saving himself for someone else.

"I hate gym," Simon complained, jumping up and down on the balls of his feet like it was his way of warming up.

"Same, I'd rather be stuck at your band practice than here," Clary said, putting her hair up into a ponytail. This was her worst lesson of the day, even worse than Algebra, but thank God for Simon being in the same class as her. They could both suffer together.

Before Simon could say anything, Isabelle walked over with a smile on her face. "Hey, Clary and, um…" Clary and Simon's mouths fell open; the shock had turned them to stone. Never before had Isabelle spoken to them before, let alone smile at them.

"Simon," he told her nodding his head with a shy smile. Of course, like every other boy, Simon was intimidated by Isabelle.

Isabelle looked Simon up and down, taking in his skinny frame and the baggy sports uniform he wore. Simon was handsome, even with his nerdy look, but of course Isabelle would see just the nerdy side of him.

"Great to meet you." Isabelle smiled slightly at Simon before turning back to Clary. "So Clary, do you want to come see my game this Friday? We're all going out afterwards."

Clary's head was spinning; first Jace started showing an interest in her and then ignored her, now Isabelle was starting to do the same. What was it with the Lightwoods? Next it would be Alec coming to ask Clary to go to the park or something bizarre like that. Did Isabelle really want a friendship with Clary or was she going to do exactly what Jace did? Isabelle wasn't really the friend type, though. Yes, she was popular, but she never had an actual friend. She was closer to her brothers then anyone and, like Jace, was always sleeping around instead of finding true love. Clary only had Simon as a friend; could Isabelle really just want a friend that's a girl? Did she see that Clary was similar to her in that way?

"Um…sure?" It must have been clear to Isabelle that Clary was in shock, and the truth was…she was in shock.

"Great! You can bring Simon if you want." With that, Isabelle left them to be with Aline and Kaelie. They weren't really friends; they just hung out from time to time since they were on the netball team together. That was the only time you saw the three of them together; most of the time, Isabelle was with her brothers.

"What just happened?" Simon whispered, breaking the silence between them.

Clary's head felt like it was on a never-ending merry-go-round. "I don't have a clue, and I'm going to pretend it didn't happen." Clary then dragged Simon off to the other side of the gym, where their class was.

Clary found the rest of the day going by very slowly; she spent lunch listening to Simon and Eric talking about tonight's game on _Dungeons and Dragons_. Every now and then, Clary would look over to Jace. Sometimes he would catch her staring, and she would look away, blushing. Why couldn't she just forget about him? She had been ignoring him and putting up with him for most of her school life.

"Clary, did you hear what I said?" Simon asked impatiently, catching Clary's attention.

"What?"

"Just wondered if you wanted to come by and hear us play tonight?"

"Sure," Clary replied. It wasn't like she had any plans for revising tonight.

French went slowly for Clary; it was like someone had put glue on the clock handles, slowing the time down. She found herself excited for English – even more than usual – but it was taking forever for the hand to reach the twelve o'clock.

When the bell finally went, Clary bit her lip to prevent a cheerful squeal. She collected her English and Art books from her locker, meeting Simon as he came out from his Music class. Together they walked to English, talking about the band practice Simon was having tonight.

Like always, Clary and Simon sat in front of Jace and Alec. This time, however, Jace didn't bother to badger Clary over a pen or homework. She couldn't help but think about Jace when she looked over her notes, remembering last night. "Green eyes and red hair are my favourite combination", he had said to Clary, though now he acted like they had never spoken to each other before.

Mr Smith came into the room, putting his briefcase on his desk and smiling at the class. Clary was excited for this lesson; a part of her hopped Jace would ask her to borrow something, but that hope had left and now she wanted this class to end.

"Quieten down!" Mr Smith shouted over the ruckus. "Alright. Today, we're going to be working with our study buddies in looking at different researching methods."

Clary felt her stomach twist, many emotions flooding through her – including those she didn't know were there in the first place. She was being forced to work with Jace when she didn't even want to.

"Could this day get any worse?" Clary muttered to herself under her breath.

Jace poked her in the back. "I heard that. You're the first person who's ever said that when they're paired with me."

"Must be a shock for you, then." Clary didn't turn to face him.

"Alright everyone, get working with your partners!" Mr Smith called out, and the class started to move. Clary didn't; she didn't want to work with Jace at all.

"Hello, study buddy," said a voice next to Clary. She couldn't work out what the tone of his voice meant; it wasn't amused or annoyed.

"Hi," Clary returned, not unkindly.

"You don't have much to say today, do you?" Jace asked, and Clary knew he was smirking – the smirk that made her want to turn and stare at him, the smirk that made him look even more perfect.

She blushed despite herself. "You don't seem to want to say much, either."

"It's better not to talk," Jace mumbled.

Clary wasn't sure how to respond to that, so instead she replied with, "Can we just get this stupid lesson over with?"

"We shall." Jace moved closer to Clary, making her blush. "Do you want to continue where we left off last night?"

"Last night?" Simon asked from behind them, making Clary's cheeks redden even more. She hadn't told Simon; she was too embarrassed, seeing as Jace wasn't interested in her.

Jace sounded amused now. "Didn't you know, Lewis? Clary and I had our first revision session last night. We had a lot of fun, didn't we?"

Clary was shocked with how Jace said it; he made it sound completely bad and made it sound like they did more than just _revise_.

"Well, I'm certainly happy for you, Clary," Simon told her in a tone that Clary had never heard him speak in before.

"It was just revision," Clary protested, turning around to explain.

Simon's face was red with anger, and he was glaring down at the table. Clary could see that Alec also looked quite furious, with his fists clenched between his arms. It made Clary wonder how Alec felt about Jace; clearly, he was jealous, though Clary didn't know why. Simon was just angry that Clary didn't tell him.

"You seemed to want to do more then revision." Jace smiled proudly.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you being such an –"

"Asshat?" Jace finished, definitely amused this time.

Clary didn't respond; she would rather be ignored then deal with this. She opened her English book up and started to revise on her own, fighting back the tears that threatened to escape. Of course Jace couldn't revise; he had to have some story to keep his reputation. _How stupid could I be?_ Clary thought to herself.

Luckily, Jace took the hint and left Clary alone for most of the lesson. Clary's anger wouldn't go away; she couldn't focus on her revision and she couldn't fight the temptation to peek at Jace. He was reading from his book, seeming annoyed over something. Clary didn't understand him at all.

Clary's phone buzzed in her pocket and she checked it to see Simon had texted her,

**r u alright? Is it true what Jace said?**

Clary texted back, **No, just revision.**

**Ignore him, he's an idiot.**

**I know.**

"Texting about me?" Jace whispered next to her, and she snapped her phone shut before he could read her texts.

"Don't get your hopes up," Clary snapped, and turned her attention back to her book.

"I don't need to hope. I know you were texting about me with Lewis; he's probably sulking, jealous over our time last night," Jace taunted.

"I don't understand you," Clary found herself saying. "First you act all interested in me and want to _know_ me. Then the next day, you ignore me and then say that we did more then revising, when we both know we didn't."

"Did you think I had a crush on you?" Jace teased, and Clary felt her heart sink. He didn't care about her at all.

"No, I just thought we were becoming friends." Clary couldn't look at him.

"Friends?" Jace laughed. "Clary, you're just a stupid little girl, and I took that vulnerability to use it against you. I only wanted one thing last night, but you were so hard to get and ended up wasting my time. I don't usually go for girls like you, but I was desperate." The bell went as soon as Jace finished talking, and Clary picked up her things and left the classroom with tears running down her cheeks. She knew she was being played with, but she didn't know it would hurt this much.

Jace walked towards his car, fed up with school and fed up with everything. The look on Clary's face when she left the room made him hate himself even more. He made her cry, and he would never forgive himself for that. He didn't usually care what people felt, but he _cared _about what Clary felt and now he made her feel upset and angry. He hated himself.

He sat in his car; he couldn't leave without Alec and Isabelle, but he didn't want to stay at school any longer. He believed he did the right thing, making Clary hate him; this way he wouldn't be able to hurt her. "To love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be the one destroyed,"his father once told him, and if he allowed himself to care about Clary even more then he would end up hurting her.

Doing this was protecting her, protecting her from him and from a future she didn't deserve. She deserved someone who would love her and not destroy the love they created. Clary deserved happiness; she deserved a man who could hold her and love her without causing her any problems. She deserved that kind of future. Hurting her and making her hate him was the only way to stop her from him destroying her future and happiness.

Last night was one of the best nights he had had in a while, spending it with her and getting to know her more. She was beautiful – everything about her was beautiful.

Jace wanted to know her more; he wanted to see her drawings more and wanted to hold her in his arms. For years, he had had a small crush on her – forgetting a pen on purpose just to talk to her, and pretending to not have done his homework just so she would talk to him. He even asked Mr Smith if he could be Clary's study buddy, and now he realised what a stupid but amazing idea that was. Before, Jace could get any girl he wanted, but the one girl he couldn't have was the one he desired the most.

Knowing Clary had some feelings towards him made him want to go to her even more, but now that he had said what he had to her, he couldn't. She hated him and that was for the best. He could picture the future with Clary all he wanted, but that future would never be his.

It was hours before the final bell went – only a matter of time until Alec came and told him off for being mean. Jace could see Isabelle and Alec walking over together, both in a bad mood, which made Jace groan. He didn't need them to make him hate himself even more.

Isabelle opened the passenger door. "Jace Lightwood, why in God's name did you say those things to Clary?" She clipped on her seat belt, glaring at Jace while she was at it.

"She thought I had a crush on her, so I put her straight." He shrugged carelessly, which pained him even more. Acting like Clary meant nothing to him was hard.

"Do not lie to me! I see the way you look at her!" Isabelle shouted at him, crossing her arms over chest.

"It doesn't matter what I feel, I did the right thing," Jace told her, and pulled out of the car park. He was shocked that Alec hadn't said anything yet; instead, he sat at the back, glaring at the seat in front of him.

"I don't understand," Isabelle sighed. "Clary would be good for you, and you both obviously have feelings for each other. Why not just give it a shot?"

"You're right, you don't understand. Please, Izzy, just trust me here. If I could be with Clary, then I would be on her doorstep at this very moment, but I just can't." He never really spoke about his feelings, but clearly Isabelle wasn't going to give in.

"You make no sense!" Isabelle looked out the window like she was searching for an answer there. Jace didn't need Isabelle reminding him what he was throwing away. He had to keep reminding himself that he was doing this for _Clary_ – that he was protecting her from himself.

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**a/n: sorry if you all thought Clary and Jace were just going to get together after that. It will be a few more chapters before that and they have to overcome problems. Please do tell me what you think so far:) **


	3. Hibernation

**(a/n): Hello, here is the next chapter and I hope you all enjoy it! Please do review and tell me what you think in the end and if you have any ideas please let me know:)!**

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**Chapter 3: Hibernation**

The bell to Garroway's books gave Clary away as she entered her fathers book store. She wanted to escape to her room and dive under her covers without anyone noticing her. Flinching, she walked through the book store with her head looking down.

"Clary," She bit her lip, "I didn't see Simon outside?" Clary had walked home without Simon, she wanted to be alone.

She turned to Luke, trying to give him her best smile, "He had band practice." Clary lied.

"Oh." Luke looked confused, but shook his head clearing whatever he was thinking. "Your mothers upstairs; we were going to talk to you about some... rules."

"Rules?" Clary questioned, hugging her books closer to her chest. She wanted to hide away in her room like a bear hibernates in winter. To spend all her time under her covers in hibernation from the world. Clearly she couldn't do that without telling her parents why.

Luke pushed his glasses up his nose looking slightly nervous. "Yes, rules. If your bringing boys home–other than Simon–then were going to need to put some rules into place."

Clary blushed understanding what 'rules' would mean. "Um, really, it's no big deal." She mumbled.

"It is a big deal if you're having a study buddy." Luke raised his eyebrows accusing that it was more than revising. Well it wasn't. Jace only wanted to use Clary. She was just a stupid little girl.

Blinking back tears Clary said, "Well, he won't be coming round any more."

"Clary–" Luke began seeing through Clary's words, but she had already took of through the store and into the apartment at the back. She didn't want to embarrass herself any more, specially not to her parents.

Running past her mother, she ran into her room diving under her covers, where she would begin her hibernation. All those girls Clary shook her head at as they were fooled by Jace Lightwood and now she had joined them. Joined the shame and embarrassment.

She always knew that he wasn't interested in her, always knew that he would get bored with her and find someone else. Why did he have to be so cruel about it? Saying those words had hurt Clary more than him not being interested in her or only just wanting to use her. It made her want to scream, cry and laugh. Scream at Jace. Cry at his harshness. Laugh at her foolishness.

A knock on her door made her pull the covers more on top of her. She didn't want to speak to her mother like this, she didn't want her mother to know how much of an idiot her daughter was.

"Clary? Can I come in?" Her mother asked gently.

"No." Clary said quietly not sure if her mother heard her.

The door opened anyway and her bed sunk with her mothers weight to her right. She covered her face with her bed cover and hands, wishing that her life wasn't happening right now.

"Clary, tell me what's going on." Her mother whispered, gently placing a hand on her back.

"Nothing, I'm just a very tired bear who has had a wonderful summer and now needs to go into hibernation for the winter."

"Well, I'm afraid that summer has only just begun and you have a while to go before it's time to go into hibernation."

Clary didn't respond, if she stayed silent then maybe her mother would believe she fell asleep and would leave her alone.

It didn't work. "Is this about Jace?"

She didn't respond.

"Oh, sweetie." Jocelyn paused. "Boys take longer than girl's to realize their feelings."

"Jace has made his feelings pretty clear." Clary mumbled.

"Half the time boys don't like to admit their true feelings; it scares them more than you would think."

"Jace isn't scared of anything. He's the boy that doesn't have any fears, the kind that could be seen as a hero if he wanted to; he's popular in school and could have any girl he wants." Any girl but only Clary when he was desperate.

"I knew a man like that once. Valentine, he was the popular boy around school, always getting whatever girl he wanted." Clary was surprised to hear her mom talk about her past.

"Did you like him?" Clary whispered, coming out of hibernation.

"Like him? I was in love with him; just like every other girl. At first he denied his feelings for me, but soon declared his love. He was scared of having a relationship, that side was all new to him." Jocelyn pushed Clary's hair away from her face, she had gotten sticky with sweat from being under the covers.

"What happened to you and Valentine?" She asked curious to her mothers past.

Jocelyn took a while to reply. "We wanted different things so we went on different pathways."

"Oh." Clary found herself disappointed, she was hopping for something else.

"Now listen to momma bear." Clary raised her eyebrows. "You started the whole bear thing. In my opinion: Jace is too old for you, but I can see that you like him a lot. From watching the two of you, I can see Jace feels exactly the same way but he is unsure."

Clary frowned. "Your wrong, he told me he was only using me."

"Give him time, Clary, don't speak or even look at him for a while and see if he comes to you." Jocelyn squeezed Clary's hand.

Clary wasn't going to talk or look at him, she was going to cut him from her life. She didn't want to be a part of the Jace Lightwood show.

Her parents didn't bother with the 'rules' talk that night, since it was clear that those rules weren't going to be needed. Clary kept herself in hibernation, her mother giving her a sandwich when she didn't come out to eat, and it was morning by the time she dragged herself out.

She had to go to school, she had exams coming up and she didn't want to embarrass herself any more. Clary showered and got dressed for the day, trying to be as normal as possible.

"Good morning." Her mom kissed her forehead as she entered the kitchen. Pancakes were made on the table for Clary, making her frown. Usually she had cereal for breakfast and this was obviously sympathy food.

She sat down to eat, and Luke looked over the top of his newspaper at her. Smiling he said, "Me and your mother were thinking about going up to the farm in a few weeks." They were trying to cheer her up, she appreciated it, but didn't want the sympathy. She didn't deserve it.

"That sounds great." Clary smiled slightly.

Her mom sat down next to her, "Maybe Simon could come as well."

"He would love that." Clary traced her finger around the rim of her coffee mug before she drank her coffee.

Luke dropped her of at school since it was raining, it was like the weather was feeling just like Clary: rubbish. The sun was Clary hiding behind the clouds, hiding away from the world. It was the one time Clary was happy to be invisible at school.

Simon smiled as Clary walked up to her locker. "You alright?" He asked.

"Fine." Clary lied, opening her locker.

Simon knew Clary to well, and could sense that she was lying, but didn't press on the matter. Clearly he knew Clary didn't want to talk about it and Clary thanked him mentally for that. "I met Eric's new girlfriend last night," he changed the conversation, "his usual type."

"I thought he had a girlfriend?" Clary asked walking along side Simon as they walked to their first lesson.

"They broke up, she had gotten bored or something like that." Simon shrugged not knowing the truth. Eric had a different girlfriend every week, it was hard keeping up with him.

She paused in the hallway that lead to her Algebra lesson. Quickly scanning the halls, she couldn't see Jace, Alec or Isabelle anywhere. "I'll see you in gym." Clary told Simon.

Simon smiled at Clary before continuing to walk down the hall. She went to her classroom, sitting down next to Maia without talking. Her eyes watched the doorway, waiting for Jace to enter; she hated how she was making herself suffer more, but she was curious to see if he would turn up.

"Still in a mood?" Maia asked raising her eyebrows at Clary.

"No." Clary said a little to bitterly.

Maia smiled, "This boy is defiantly an asshat."

"He is indeed." Clary said and just on cue Jace entered the classroom glaring at the floor. He didn't look at Clary, and Clary didn't expect him to but the way his shoulders were hunched over tense made her wonder why _he_ was in a bad mood.

She wasn't paying much attention to Mrs James or anything Maia was talking to her about. Instead she was fighting the temptation to turn around and look at Jace just once. He hurt her, tried to use her and made her cry, now she wanted to look at him again. What was wrong with her?

The clock was behind Jace, surely she could slowly turn to look at the clock and sneak a quick glance at Jace. It would go against her mothers words and Clary's words, but just one last look.

Slowly she turned; Jace was glaring at the table in front of him but sensed when Clary was watching him. Their eyes met for a second, something flickered in his eyes, before she looked up to the clock then back to her work again.

His eyes held sadness as he looked at her. Of course they would, sadness that he even bothered with her. Sadness that he didn't get what he wanted. She would just forget about him, cut him from her life completely.

It was a lot harder to get on with her work while being paranoid that Jace was staring at the back of her head. The lesson seemed to never end and for the first time, Clary wished it was time for gym.

As soon as the bell went Clary picked up her books and fled from the room. She thought she heard her name called behind her, but she didn't bother looking back, she just walked to gym.

In gym Simon helped cheer Clary up, telling her about things that happened at band practice yesterday. Band practice was never great, but it was what Simon normally talked about.

"Eric and his new girlfriend were to busy making out to even bother with practice. In the end me and Kirk discussed some new band names." Simon was saying and it sounded like every band practice.

Isabelle walked past Clary, giving her a small smile that made Clary look away. Of course she would know what happened, and of course Isabelle wouldn't want to be friends now. She remembered her invite to Isabelle's game in two days and wondered whether she was still invited.

"Are you going to go?" Simon asked knowing what she was thinking about.

"Um, I don't know?" Clary questioned.

"I'll come with you if you like." Simon said blushing. Did he want to go for Isabelle?

"Sure." Clary was going to bring him anyway.

The sun had started to come out from behind the clouds during gym, but when lunch came the sun had gone back and it had started to rain again. Jace was sat a few tables away facing Clary and now and then he kept looking up at her with that same sadness in his eyes.

At one point anger had flooded through her veins and she challenged him to a glare off. It ended with him smirking, making her even more angry with him. How dare he hurt her and then make a joke of it.

"I'm going to go English early, I'll see you later." Clary mumbled to Simon before leaving the canteen. She walked to her locker slowly, where she got out her English books, before making her way to English.

Sitting down she tried to distract her thoughts from Jace with reading a tale of two cities. It struggled to come to Clary, she couldn't get herself into her book when her thoughts were everywhere else.

It was so hard just to make someone disappear from your mind let alone your life. After everything he did she wanted to hate him, but she couldn't and she hated herself for it. Her foolish crush on Jace was just going to get her hurt even more and she couldn't stop it.

Footsteps caught Clary's attention and she looked up to see Jace had entered the room, his eyes not on Clary but on the wall behind her. He was watching her without looking at her.

Why was he making her suffer? Was he really this harsh? Clenching her fists under the table, she turned her head to face the wall allowing a curtain of hair to fall across her face.

Ignoring him, she pretended to get on with her work; listening to see what Jace would be doing behind her. She didn't understand what he was doing here, did he come to talk to Clary or just to torture her even more?

Jace wasn't sure what he was doing here, clearly Clary didn't want to talk to him – not that he blamed her. Seeing her sadness pained him, he caused the red-headed beauty to frown instead of smile.

She was hiding behind her red curls from him, worried that he was going to hurt her even more. He wouldn't, he had made her hate him and now he would leave her. This would be his place, sitting at the back in the shadows watching as she got on with her life. It would pain him to see her fall in love with another man, but as long as she was happy and could have a life where he wouldn't be the cause of her destruction.

The end of lunch bell went and Jace opened up his book, pretending to be reading over his notes. It was Simon who came in first, smiling to Clary with concern and love in his eyes. Clary was so oblivious to his feelings for her, just like she was oblivious to his feelings to her.

He watched as Simon pathetically tried to cheer Clary up, it made him jealous how she came out of her hiding to him with a small smile on her face. He hated to admit that Simon would be good for her, would bring her happiness and love that she deserved.

"Thanks for leaving me." Alec sat down next to him, frowning.

Jace had left him and Isabelle not telling him where he was going. He didn't know where he was going, but somehow he ended up here watching the girl he had started falling in love with hide from him.

"Sorry," He mumbled, "I just wanted to get on top of revising." He saw Alec look over to Clary not believing his words. For some reason Alec didn't like Clary and he had no idea why.

"Right." Alec opened his book harshly, not bothering to look to Jace. Having Clary angry and upset with him was hard enough, but also having Isabelle and Alec angry and upset made it a lot harder to deal with. He understood why, he felt the same way about himself but they didn't understand why he had to act this way.

In front of them Simon was trying his best to cheer Clary up, he could see how it had taken effect but not completely. Clary was talking to him, smiling and trying to act normal but she wasn't all there.

She turned around for a second catching him watching her; eyes full of hope and then sadness as she turned away. He had to clench his jaw to stop himself from saying something. She may not be happy now but she will be.

When the bell went Jace packed up his things, beating Clary out the room this time. He was thankful and sad that they didn't have another lesson together today.

"Jace." Alec called behind him and he ran his lip between his teeth before turning around.

"Yes?" He asked, watching as Alec looked at him with concern.

Alec seemed unsure at first but soon got his words out, "Forget about her." The words throw him.

Jace looked away glaring at the ground; their was no point in pretending to not know who he was talking about. How was it that everyone noticed his feelings for Clary? How was it that everyone noticed _but _Clary?

Alec continued, "Isabelle says she's good for you but I can see she isn't. She's only going to break your heart and you're doing the right thing rejecting her." He was wrong, it would be Jace that broke her heart.

"You don't understand, Alec, just leave it now. It's done." Jace said running a hand through his hair.

"It might be done, but your words don't control your feelings." Alec clenched his fists like the words pained him.

Jace didn't want to talk about his feelings, he didn't have to as everyone could see his feelings. "I'll see you later." Jace said and then walked off to his next lesson.

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**(a/n): I hoped you enjoyed the chapter. Tell me what you think and if you have any ideas. The next chapter will be the game. Do you think their will be any chance of Clary and Jace talking? Will Jace give in to his feelings? Your find out in the next chapter:) **


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